Delusion

From the archives

Is it crazy that I’m thankful for my ability to conjure up fantasies? At the risk of consistent drop in dopamine when I’m shaken back to my life, I would still choose to imagine, to dream, to hope, to feel the things that make us human.

The excitement, wonder, lust, fear, heartbreak, infatuation - even if they are not based in my reality.

I met a cute guy this weekend and it made me wonder how many strangers I’ve married in my mind. A glimmer of a spark and I spiral deeply and quickly. Our engagement, rock solid marriage, and our three perfect children. Am I crazy? Maybe. But these stories are a respite from the monotony. When I think back on my made up loves, I rarely remember their names, but I’m certain we were meant for each other, even if for a moment in the secret spaces of my heart and mind.